big4now

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How I ended up where I am right now (last part, I promise!)

I’ll tell you what I did.  I tried all the diets (save for the “ridiculous” ones) I could find that seemed to be successful with other people I knew.  I tried Dexatrim, and then later I took Fen-Phen.  I’ve done the Slim-Fast diet, Weight Watchers (at least half a dozen times), Lindora Medical (twice), and a host of others I can’t even remember the names of.  Every time I was ready to start an exercise program, I’d either come down with the flu or a cold, or I’d injure myself.  Rather than work around the issues, I’d just say – DAMN IT, I have to wait AGAIN.

Today, I have a little more self-control.  Not as much as I’d like, but I’m getting there.  Losing weight is hard work; anyone who says otherwise is either supremely blessed with a high metabolism, or has never had a weight problem.

People who’ve never had a weight problem, really bug me.  They  look at you with disdain and say, “Oh, you should try Weight Watchers, it really works!” or some other bullshit.  Yeah, skinny; it works for YOU because it’s easy to modify your eating habits – when you only eat half a <whatever – bagel, sandwich, cup of lettuce, etc.> at a time, I’ll bet it’s easy!  For those of us with serious weight problems, it’s an insult.  WE know what it feels like to be heavy, and we’ve tried your methods – and about a dozen more!

Were you born into a generation that was told, “Clean your plate; don’t you know there are starving people in Africa who would give anything to have what you want to throw away?”  I sure was.  That meant, eat what is put in front of you, since as kids, we had to eat the portions we were given.  To this day, I clean my plate.  I’ve learned how to put less there, but it is still a stigma that I’ve yet to conquer.

So, here I am.  I can’t even bring myself to say how much I weigh, because it disturbs me.  But I’ll share that at the end of my journey – for now, I’ll just post as I lose.  In the meantime, I did make the decision to go with a gastric bypass.  My husband’s procedure was stalled several years ago, but he and I are on a road to our healthier selves together.  He already has insulin-resistant Type II Diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol (normal while he takes his meds; he’d want to make sure I said that!).  I have high triglycerides, and occasional high blood pressure.  I don’t want to get any “worse,” and we both need to get healthy NOW.  At 49 and 50, he and I need a great, big jump start.

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